THE ONLY WAY IS IRONBBRATZ! Episode 6: Teenage hormones, grey paint & goldfish. PLUS NEW DR. DELE UPDATE!

I can’t believe, it’s like totally been a whole week since I’ve written an The Only Way Is Ironbbratz column! In that time we’ve just been going absolutely WILD in the studios and in general absolutely everyone has been getting even more work done than usual. I’m mostly putting this down to the fact that one naughty little studio member, Mr. Alan Campbell (Art) chose to stay at home all week – meaning that Alan’s hourly studio rounds to drop in on everyone and tell them the mad things he’s thinking have been erased from everyone’s schedules. That’s not to say they haven’t been missed however – I for one always miss Alan when he’s away and am very jealous of all the attention that he would rather lavish on his pet dog Hamish, rather than come and pet me instead.

Well, I write that but then while Alan was away this week I think something pretty mental must have happened to him. He came back for one day, with a shaved head and a suddenly assertive and aggressive attitude. Sadly not directed in quite the aggressive and assertive direction I would have preferred, instead Alan though it would be acceptable to come and tell me off for leaving his camera battery on all weekend when I was actually in the final throws of watching Legally Blonde for the first time ever in my life. Alan’s stab at annoyance didn’t fare well when I had to shoo him out again while I watched Reese Witherspoon graduate from Harvard Law School. As Becca Pidgin was saying to me this week, when we first got Alan he was in his toddler stage and recently he’s beginning to move towards his moody teenager phase. We’ll look forward to his growing up, but are obviously all scared of what his newly raging hormones will lead him to do. (In a brief aside about raging hormones just two nights ago I was leaning out a window at Ironbbratz only to be confronted with two teenagers actually having sex in the alley below – just one of the many pleasures of city centre studio living!)

But – What made Alan abandon his pet dog for the afternoon? What exciting and adventurous situation was taking place in the studios that afternoon? Well, finally I am proud to present the exciting news that the much talked about kitchen decoration is finally beginning to occur. On Wednesday, myself, Becca & Dele Pidgin, Olga, Anna Lisa, Kenneth and the beautiful Emily Sheppard (I LOVE HER NEW COAT) all finally got together to get all painty, first turning the communal space a light grey and subsequently beginning the kooky homemade striped pattern on the wall that faces my studio.

Personally I think we might have got more done; only we complimented the painting work with a collection of pizzas and beers. You may have noticed that Alan Campbell’s name was absent from the list of painters – but this is because mostly he was just focusing on eating the pizza and drinking the beer! Outrageous!

Even more outrageous was how little of the pizza everyone else ate, meaning that I basically had to consume at least two pizzas myself – made even worse by the fact I had eaten two pizza’s the night before AND THEN the very next day – the day it was *SUMMER* in Glasgow – I ate another pizza with Marc Pidgin, out in George Square looking at boys at lunchtime. This is what is so perfect about Ironbbratz, it’s so central that you can pop out to a delicious pizza shop and stare at boys for at least 45 minutes and still be on your hour lunch break! Although actually Marc and I took two hours out, to enjoy the weather and also mince along to the Brunswick to look at more boys in the sun – and also, much to my embarrassment get ‘spotted’ by one of the bar guys. Basically it seems we’ve temporarily abandoned cakes for pizzas!!

When we came back from our glorious lunch hour the final arrangements and installation of the PDA Curtain Showroom exhibition at The Telfer were underway and that has been running all weekend in the gallery space. Hopefully they won’t have sold absolutely everything by the time I get back to my studio on Sunday evening!!

The building has itself been a source of excitement this week as we met for hours on end to discuss the future of both Ironbbratz and The Telfer. I’ve been in at least five hours’ worth of strategy meetings this week for Ironbbratz, but it will all be worth it we hope as we unveil new and exciting news very very very very soon!! I know I keep promising it, but I promise (once more – it’s totally coming!!!) In connection to this upcoming news we also have two newly free spaces in the studios so if you’re looking right now do please feel free to get in touch! There are the only two spaces left right now, so you should totally check them out!! In other studio movements news I should say a farewell to Hannah Busby and wish her luck for the future, but give a big welcome to Andy & Bob who moved in this week and I can’t wait to see more of them!! Andy’s been decorating her studio already and Bob attended his first R&D the other day! (R&D is a reading a discussion group running every Friday at Ironbbratz – you can totally find more information on that on our website and non-studio holders are totally welcome too!!)

And how could I forget our newest member, who just arrived late Friday night, ERASMUS!!! A beautiful big black goldfish – a little more responsibility for us, but lovely to have a new friend to sit and watch over the freshly decorated communal space! Photos of him coming up soon too!!! Perhaps he’ll be next in the chair with Dr. Dele?! Right now, you can check out the second step in my flirting tuition from Dr. Dele available here now!!

I’ll try to keep you updated on how Erasmus settle’s in but I’m sure it won’t be long before he realises that THE ONLY WAY IS IRONBBRATZ!!!

(Oooh, and Natalia met Talib Kweli!)


About Oliver Braid

Oliver Braid is an artist based in Glasgow selected as one of Scotland’s most promising new visual arts practitioners as part of Collective Gallery’s 2011 New Work Scotland Programme and currently based at Ironbbratz Studios. He studied Fine Art at University College Falmouth and Glasgow School of Art, where he completed the Master of Fine Art programme in 2010. Over the past twelve months he has presented solo exhibitions of his work at The Royal Standard, Liverpool; Collective Gallery, Edinburgh; The Mutual, Glasgow and BBC Scotland, Glasgow. Throughout 2012 he is co-hosting a weekly pop-philosophy radio show with the artist Ellie Harrison, The Ellie & Oliver Show, through Culture Lab Radio, Newcastle and is involved with the artist’s therapy group Artist Anonymous.
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